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Let me entertain you
By Daniel | April 4, 2009
The other day, a member of another local BBW group must have seen my Yahoo Messenger online indicator on so she IMs me with something like “What’s up, I saw you in another group I’m in.”
I respond with a greeting, tell her I’m fine and what’s up with her. She then asks what my name is. Well DUH! You mean you’re going to IM someone just because they’re in the same group as you without even looking at their profile or seeing anything about them, not even their name?
I thought A/S/L went out in the 90s with the popularity of AOL chat rooms. Today most all of us have online profiles with lots and lots of information. I have one on Yahoo, one on MySpace, others on Facebook, Multiply, Twitter and even a slew of pics on Flickr. Oh, and three blogs. Not too hard to score online info on yours truly.
I replied with the link to my Yahoo profile. Then, nothing for like 10 minutes. Finally she IM’s, “So?” Hmmmm…what does that mean? So *what*? Shouldn’t she come back with something relevant to my profile, or at least because her profile was blank, some similar information about herself? So…I’m now supposed to carry the conversation with her because she’s bored and wants to be entertained?
If you have an interest in talking to ME – rather than just anyone with their Messenger light on – then I don’t think it’s too much to ask someone to take a few minutes to *at least* know my A/S/L before IMing me. If you don’t, it just tells me your a lazy troll, and probably someone I don’t want to talk with anyway.
Very matter-of-factly I replied that there must have been some reason she IMed me in the first place and what was it she was interested in? Immediately I start getting messages like why I’m now all hostile and was told to go fuck myself. Oh reeeeally?
Turns out this gal was also a member of BBWNorthwest. And as it was evident on my profile that I was the moderator of that group, you think a member wouldn’t tell the group owner to go fuck themselves. So I informed her who I was and that I wasn’t interested in having someone in my group with that attitude. She said if I removed her as a member, “That’s gay.”
Best part? She replied to the auto-generated “You have been removed from the group” file:
I have been kicked out of this group because I am disliked from one of the owners (Daniel) which has nothing to do with any of the reasons below. I am reporting this discrimination directly to Yahoo.
Wow…”disliked”? Was I the one who told her to fuck off? Yup, that’s discrimination alright!
I’ve always said that an IM conversation is like meeting someone at a party. You have to have a reason to approach them, then something to SAY that will make them interested in continuing to talk with you. Because there are lots of other people at the party you can be talking with. (Or other things you can be doing than entertaining some stranger who happened to IM you!)
I would chalk it up to this gal’s youth (she’s 23) except wasn’t that generation born and raised on the internet? Shouldn’t that medium be more familiar and natural to her? I guess netiquette/manners is a different story.
I’ve been told I invented the phrase “cerebral foreplay”. It’s been on my AOL profile since the early 90s and my key to interesting banter online. It certainly beats boorish come-ons. And don’t you have to have enough mental capacity to say something insightful afterward besides, “Was it good for you?”
OK, “Don’t use your teeth so much down there” could be a close second.
Topics: Uncategorized | 2 Comments »
April 5th, 2009 at 12:57 pm
This was hilarious. Props to the ‘no teeth’ because c’mon, it’s true.
I totally agree with you on the netiquette stuff – I’m always surprised when people want you to do the work for them. THEY don’t even want to talk to themselves, so why should you?
August 15th, 2009 at 4:54 pm
Oh my! I think you have just channeled me! I’ve completely stopped even trying to meet people online because of all the inane chatter and quick emotional outbursts (by men and women!) I’ve felt like the internet has made people lazy about impressing each other. Cerebral foreplay sounds heavenly! So much better than not-so-innuendo’ish comments…
Carry on! Thank you for sharing your thoughts :)