NAAFA: Don’t tell my kids they’re fat!
By Daniel | January 29, 2010
In a press release today, the National Association to Advance Fat Acceptance (NAAFA) urges Michelle Obama, who has recently announced her intention to focus on childhood obesity prevention, to “consider all the research before taking action and supporting any program that may do more harm than good.”
The release then tosses out more studies which claim the “stigmatization” of large children has increased by 40% over the last 30 years. (What exactly is meant by “stigmatization”? Because I got teased plenty as a fat kid in elementary school 40 years ago.) Another cited study offered said “many drugs being prescribed to children cause weight gain” and that there was “a 40 fold increase in bi-polar diagnoses in children between 1994 and 2003.” (Oh please don’t upset kids with any facts or education about how bad nutrition = unhealthy weight gain = increased risk for certain diseases and health issues…they might go off the deep end!)
But my favorite part of the press release was:
This issue is about the critical need to create environments in which children and adolescents do not feel shame or guilt about their bodies but, rather, are motivated to enjoy healthful eating and active living habits regardless of their body size or shape.
Children and adolescents do not have the experience on earth to make intelligent decisions about their health. It’s common for teens to engage in life-endangering behavior because they have no fear of mortality. Most not only think they’ll live forever, but also don’t understand long term consequences of behaviors they engage in today.
Just like you have to hit a puppy on the nose because they don’t know any better, don’t discount the power of shame and guilt. It sounds like the “progressive” thinking of some educators that issuing grades are bad because children should be rewarded for “trying” rather than achievement.
I know what it’s like to be embarrassed in gym class because I couldn’t climb the rope. It encouraged me to be more conscious of my weight and come to terms that it was preventing me from doing things that everyone else could. I’m not in favor of publicly singling out kids because of their BMI, but private counseling sessions with a school nutritionist? Taking junk food out of schools? What’s wrong with that?
Did you know now that restaurants are legally mandated to post calorie counts for their dishes, they’re finding people are consuming less calories? Knowledge is power! Most kids would be happy consuming a candy bar or two or/and several cans of pop with sugar every day. Educating them on the physical and mental effects of being on a sugar rollercoaster, consuming empty calories and lessening the chance of adolescent-onset diabetes seems like a prudent - not discriminatory - course of action.
The number of kids for whom this consciousness turns into anorexia or unhealthy body image is statistically small, so I resent NAAFA playing that card as the poster child for not being proactive in education and prevention of childhood obesity because someone’s “feelings” will be hurt.
As a size acceptance advocate, I’m going to say something which might be shocking. On the whole, “health at any size” is a feelgood mantra for the obese. Sure, we all know people who are fat and don’t have any health issues. (You might be one of them.) But public health care policy on a national basis? It’s not built on anecdotal evidence, it’s built on large scale studies.
In study after study done by the CDC in cooperation with the nation’s leading hospitals which examine groups of hundreds or thousands who are obese vs. the same number who are height/weight proportionate (HWP) - when they run down the list of diseases brought on by excessive weight: hypoglycemia and diabetes, heart health, cholesterol levels, joint and mobility problems, etc. - the obese group has more red flags. Have we learned nothing from Barney Fife?
Sure, NAAFA’s mission is to promote size acceptance and denounce discrimination of individuals because of their size. But in that zeal, does NAAFA want to categorically claim that obese people as a group are equally healthy as those who are HWP?
Let’s get real!
People who practice good nutrition, exercise often and do not carry excess weight live longer and enjoy a better quality of life. I think that’s a great lesson to be taught to everyone, but particularly for kids who don’t know or don’t care that healthy practices at age 8 or 10 or 15 is not only a great thing to learn - but instills a desire to keep active and fit.
Don’t get me started on the rise in health care costs due to increased incidence of obesity-related diseases. Should the government turn a blind eye to something which is totally preventable through education?
Once you’re an adult and can make educated choices? Be as fat as you want! (How many smokers know all the health risks and CHOOSE to smoke? Why do you think they are not legally given that choice until age 21?) But at least it can’t be said that those adults didn’t make a conscious decision despite knowing the risks (and possible results) that behavior brings.
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Don’t cry for me, San Francisco
By Daniel | January 25, 2010
Seems that the bad word-of-mouth, drama and various spurned lovers around the country have finally caught up with San Francisco plus-size promoter Big Boogie Nights, as its founder Darren Battle (a/k/a DJ Zulu) has thrown in the towel. From a statement on his website:
Though we are a party promotion, it isn’t easy to keep your numbers up as venues have one thing in mind regarding promotions: MONEY! If the venue doesn’t make what it needs to make then they aren’t interested in you anymore. While we’ve had successful partnerships with several locations starting with Main Street Tavern and ending with Crowne Plaza Hotel in Concord we realize it’s a business first.
Many hotels we’ve used have remodeled so that it’s not compatible for us anymore. Most hotels that had adjacent nightclubs that are of a major chain have been dictated to remove clubs from their premises due to the increase in insurance. The days of hotel nightclubs are ending and because many of our patrons that come to BBN require hotels, it has been hard for us to secure a venue that will fit our needs. Several nightclubs have approached us about moving our promotion there, but with the bar guarantee requirements and the lack of parking and hotels, we didn’t feel we could get the numbers we needed for it to be a success.
So we are a promotion and party family without and home and not a foreseeable anytime soon. Because of that and my relocation back to the East Coast, I regret to inform you that we are suspending operations of Big Boogie Nights.
No one knows more than me that it takes money to keep bar venues interested in your promotion. It’s how MANY people you can get through the door, how MUCH can you make the register ring, and how LITTLE drama goes along with it. From the dozens of people who’ve emailed me since I started writing about Big Boogie Nights (including several who made public comments) it seems that the latter might have been the actual cause of death.
But it also has to do with respect. Darren Battle’s personal ties to the sex and fetish communities were decidedly not in the best interest of “size acceptance” (why is an adjacent motel mandatory to the success of a BBW party) but perhaps more toward the goal of keeping his pants occupied. Fat chicks deal with enough unwanted sexual come-ons; ostensibly a promoter seeking to open minds and change those attitudes wouldn’t be one of the perpetrators.
Big People Promotions will continue and some will be a success. Many have started in the Bay Area after Big Boogie Nights, some because they felt there was another need, some because they were malicious. Many didn’t last, a few stayed because they were motivated and dedicated for the right reasons.
Over the years, I’ve also seen BBW groups started for all kinds of reasons. Women who’ll plan a few bar get-togethers and then as soon as they get a boyfriend of their own, they lose enthusiasm. Or members of an existing group who decide they don’t like the way that group is being run, and start their own. That is until they find out that any benefit to their ego isn’t worth all the actual work, and that organizers rarely get to “party” at their own party.
I might have felt better about Mr. Battle’s efforts (he did get significant press for plus-size parties) if he wasn’t so “my way or the highway” - the haughtiness he expressed during his few Northwest events. It didn’t matter what music the crowd wanted to enjoy, Zulu was here for Zulu. If you didn’t like it, then you weren’t supporting “the community”. (Not to mention Battle’s abrupt abandonment and disavowal of those Seattle locals who supported and promoted his events.)
Best of luck to the other Bay Area promotions still going strong, including Full Figure Entertainment and Sexy At Any Size - who apparently aren’t having trouble finding a venue and attracting a crowd.
Oh and speaking of music, I practically snorted coffee through my nose when the other day I read one BBW club promoter’s message to his group which said (sic), “Get it thru your Block head the Music Played isnt alway to your Liking.” Oh yeah, that really makes me want to go party with them.
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Bloody fight at AbundanceNW BBW New Years Eve party…what’s next?
By Daniel | January 5, 2010
If you’ve been keeping up with the tumultuous venue history of Seattle BBW party promoter Luke Henson and AbundanceNW, you might be as surprised as I that last month the group decided to again hook up with the location which dissed them on several occasions, Chihuahua’s Cantina in Auburn.
For several years, AbundanceNW had a successful run of events at Chihuahua’s and all seemed well. Then about a year and a half ago, Chihuahua’s suddenly told the group they didn’t want them there anymore, forcing Abundance to cancel an already-announced event.
About 5 months later Chihuahua’s agreed to let the group hold events there again, which they did for another 3 months. Again, all seemed well. Then around Christmas 2008, 2 days before another big event the group was planning, Chihuahua’s AGAIN canceled and told the group not to come back.
But apparently it was not about the plus size crowd, it was about Abundance in particular. Because Chihuahua’s instead made a deal with San Francisco-based plus-size party promoter “DJ Zulu” and his group Big Boogie Nights to have parties there…which they began immediately.
After that promoter had several unsuccessful events there, Chihuahua’s ended that arrangement in Spring, 2009.
Which brings us to the Abundance New Year’s party. For the life of me, I can’t understand why they would rekindle a partnership with a venue that dissed them not once - but twice - to hold yet another event. A venue who obviously is not interested in working with him, except perhaps when they’ve run out of other options. To me it smacks of the guy who only calls the fat chick when he’s between girlfriends and needs to get fucked.
After the New Year’s party went on as planned, one of the attendees posted this to the AbundanceNW group:
When leaving the other night, we found my car a wreck, windows smashed out, blood on the inside and out… yet nothing stolen! The person(s) whom are responsible are cut quite badly; btw ya left your blood and chunks of your skin in and on my Car…THANKS! I am sure someone knows who they are… we are a close group and for the most part know names and faces.
At first I was infuriated that we as a group can’t get together to celebrate without having some sort of drama and of course I wanted justice, now I just want to know what happened! If you got into a fight, so be it, you had to be 21+ to attend … take ownership in 2010 for your adult actions!
My personal feelings aside… this sort of thing makes it hard for others to want to come out for fear they will have to endure fights, drama and just plain stupidity. I hope your proud to bring this kind of crap to not only Abundance NW and Chihuahua’s but to my family! Any information you have would be helpful… wouldn’t you want to know if it were your car?!
Oh sure. Those involved in this bloody melee are going to step right up and “take ownership” for perhaps thousands of dollars in damage and a possible arrest because they’re “adults”.
So along with patronizing a venue that dissed Abundance again and again, this is the type of dangerous criminal behavior that one must fear when attending events there?
And it gets better! It appears that unfazed and unconcerned for the safety of his members, Luke announced yet another event at Chihuahua’s just two weeks after this bloody crime. Really? Does Luke need the money that badly that he would violate the trust of his members seeking a “safe and accepting environment” at which to party?
On this blog, all I can do is offer my opinion. I’m not hating. I’m not (as Luke claims) jealous. I’ve been active in fostering and nurturing and supporting plus-size community in the Northwest for nearly 10 years. I think the more choices the better.
Anyone who wants to go and keep company with people who would perpetrate such violence can go and have a great time. If AbundanceNW wants to continue to do business with a venue which has not once, but TWICE dissed their group, canceled events with only a few days notice and, in Luke’s words, is “looking for More short term $” that’s up to them. But whether it’s the venue, or the type of people the group attracts, I don’t want to risk being at the site of more drama and violent crime by going to AbundanceNW events at Chihuahua’s. Do you?
Personally I would have told the bar to pound sand after all that’s transpired. Just like most women would tell an ex-lover who wanted to get back together a third time after being kicked to the curb for another woman to find another warm place to put it. I can’t think of ANYTHING a venue who had treated me like that could or would say to get me to come back. And certainly not sell out the safety and dignity of those who support my group.
Not only is that no way to do business, but is that a message to send to individuals who join plus-size groups to raise their own self-esteem because they know that they deserve to be treated with respect? I don’t think so. So why would any BBW spend money there?
There’s gotta be 5000+ bars in our area, surely there’s at least one who won’t treat a BBW group like shit!
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Who wants to be a diva?
By Daniel | November 12, 2009
I’ve gotten some MySpace bulletins lately from Plus Size clubs in LA and Vancouver hyping their latest event and encouraging people to “join all the sexxxy divas”.
Really?
The term ”diva” seems inexorably tied to a woman who is spoiled, egotistical, hard to get along with and feels everyone should cater to them. Remember when Naomi Campbell hit her assistant over the head with her cell phone? Being termed a “diva” doesn’t seem like a positive moniker.
So why do some BBW’s adopt that identity? You can usually recognize them by their online nicknames … usually ones that include the words princess, queen, wench, goddess and ”phat”.
These gals don’t want to be accepted for who they are. They revel in being larger than life. They parade their fat as a badge of honor to be treated like the diva they think they are (or should be). If fat is WHO you are rather than WHAT you are, that’s not size acceptance, that’s exploitation.
Apparently it’s OK to be exploited, as long as you exploit yourself. Then supposedly it’s not exploitation, it’s “empowerment”! All those guys who ever rejected you be damned! Now it’s their turn to grovel. And they are SO going to show their titties in fat fetish mags!
The interesting thing is that there are so many guys who are anxious to buy into their role (rolls). Something tells me it has more to do with fetish than acceptance.
IMHO clubs who promote themselves in that fashion aren’t promoting size acceptance, they’re promoting “diva-ism”. How does that further the respect of fat girls?
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Let me entertain you
By Daniel | April 4, 2009
The other day, a member of another local BBW group must have seen my Yahoo Messenger online indicator on so she IMs me with something like “What’s up, I saw you in another group I’m in.”
I respond with a greeting, tell her I’m fine and what’s up with her. She then asks what my name is. Well DUH! You mean you’re going to IM someone just because they’re in the same group as you without even looking at their profile or seeing anything about them, not even their name?
I thought A/S/L went out in the 90s with the popularity of AOL chat rooms. Today most all of us have online profiles with lots and lots of information. I have one on Yahoo, one on MySpace, others on Facebook, Multiply, Twitter and even a slew of pics on Flickr. Oh, and three blogs. Not too hard to score online info on yours truly.
I replied with the link to my Yahoo profile. Then, nothing for like 10 minutes. Finally she IM’s, “So?” Hmmmm…what does that mean? So *what*? Shouldn’t she come back with something relevant to my profile, or at least because her profile was blank, some similar information about herself? So…I’m now supposed to carry the conversation with her because she’s bored and wants to be entertained?
If you have an interest in talking to ME - rather than just anyone with their Messenger light on - then I don’t think it’s too much to ask someone to take a few minutes to *at least* know my A/S/L before IMing me. If you don’t, it just tells me your a lazy troll, and probably someone I don’t want to talk with anyway.
Very matter-of-factly I replied that there must have been some reason she IMed me in the first place and what was it she was interested in? Immediately I start getting messages like why I’m now all hostile and was told to go fuck myself. Oh reeeeally?
Turns out this gal was also a member of BBWNorthwest. And as it was evident on my profile that I was the moderator of that group, you think a member wouldn’t tell the group owner to go fuck themselves. So I informed her who I was and that I wasn’t interested in having someone in my group with that attitude. She said if I removed her as a member, “That’s gay.”
Best part? She replied to the auto-generated “You have been removed from the group” file:
I have been kicked out of this group because I am disliked from one of the owners (Daniel) which has nothing to do with any of the reasons below. I am reporting this discrimination directly to Yahoo.
Wow…”disliked”? Was I the one who told her to fuck off? Yup, that’s discrimination alright!
I’ve always said that an IM conversation is like meeting someone at a party. You have to have a reason to approach them, then something to SAY that will make them interested in continuing to talk with you. Because there are lots of other people at the party you can be talking with. (Or other things you can be doing than entertaining some stranger who happened to IM you!)
I would chalk it up to this gal’s youth (she’s 23) except wasn’t that generation born and raised on the internet? Shouldn’t that medium be more familiar and natural to her? I guess netiquette/manners is a different story.
I’ve been told I invented the phrase “cerebral foreplay”. It’s been on my AOL profile since the early 90s and my key to interesting banter online. It certainly beats boorish come-ons. And don’t you have to have enough mental capacity to say something insightful afterward besides, “Was it good for you?”
OK, “Don’t use your teeth so much down there” could be a close second.
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